What writing means to me

When I think of some of the books out in the world, the “Paperback Writer” song by the Beatles runs through my mind. The pure drivel written by authors who are not loyal at all to their work. Who write for their audience and not for themselves.

Which is funny.

Growing up, the most common advice for burgeoning writers was exactly that: what does your audience want to hear? What are the current genres that are popular right now? What’s hip?

My thought on all of that?

Who the f—- cares?

I write what I love. The stories that have flown off the page for me weren’t ones I wrote because that’s what other people like, this is what is popular to write about, or this is the current standard. Screw the standard.

If I’m not writing about what makes me happy or gets my pulse going in excitement then it’s not worth it to write about.

Sure, could I get more followers, more avid readers, if I wrote about whatever the heck is popular or kosher right now? Sure. But I’m just not that kind of person.

I often think about Alcott’s Little Women book. No, not the movies that were pale and abhorrent imitations of her work, but the BOOK. In the first book, Jo is in New York and having very good luck with her short stories in the newspaper. But she’s writing stuff that is popular: gory, heart-pounding stories. When her love interest confronts her about this, asking why she’s abandoning her principles just to be popular it makes her take a beat. Why is she? Is this her? Is this the kind of writer she wants to be? And, in the end, she steps away and writes what is in her heart and not what is popular: ultimately, in Jo’s case, bringing her back to her family.

For me, it’s the same way. I, initially, in my desire to just have something published, wrote under a pseudonym a romance novel. Now, if you know me, that’s somewhat hilarious, but I did my best. The actual story I found to be quite fun to write and while it was poorly edited (who was I going to ask to edit my sultry little tale?), I was somewhat proud of it. I even wrote a fan-fiction that has had remarkable success (like 30,000 views), but looking back I wish I had chosen the high ground. It probably would have still been quite successful just without all the explicit stuff.

And the thing is, it’s not that I’m some stuffy, uptight Christian woman – I am just not personally comfortable with that sort of thing. It’s not the sort of person that I am. I love romance, but the older I get the more I just hate when sex and romance are inextricably linked like it’s the only thing that’s important. And that’s not really the message I want to give out.

You start thinking about that sort of thing at my age (currently at the time of writing I am 34) and when you are a parent. Because, yes, even if what I write is too old for my kids, someday it won’t be. I don’t want them to look at me and ask, “Is this what love is, mom?” or “Is this what a hero is?”. And I would hate to think that some other person read my books and it influenced them in a negative way either.

So, yes, the message is important.

Why do I write?

At this point in time, I write because I love writing. I love stories. I love the creation of characters and a world that is solely my own.

I write with the responsibility that my words and the stories I create have an implicit message and I need to careful what that message is. Yes, a story should be about entertainment or escapism, but the stories I grew up reading also inspired me and, if at all possible, I would like to do that as well.

I write with the knowledge that I have a lot to learn. I’ve studied writing all of my life. But I don’t believe there’s a cap on learning – I can always be better and I strive to continually improve my writing.

I write so my children know dreams come true. I want to be the kind of person who puts their money where their mouth is. If I tell my children to aim for the stars then I better model that behavior myself. Writing has always been my dream, but it took me over 25 years before I devoted myself to it.